2019 is going to be a long one

Despite how much I hurt… I have hope. I’m gunna find my sunshine again. Nothings gunna take away my hope

Anyway im like.. ok

My friends, don’t speak to me unless I speak to them first

The things I indulge in, have no interest to me anymore.

The only thing I am known for is how I wallow in my self-pity. Why would anyone wish to speak to me in the first place.

I am myself, slug-like and absolutely abhorrent. 

That’s my real personality

Surrounded by my own misery, I find it hard to muster the effort to even clean my room, or bathe twice a day. Crawling through the last few days of this year as if there will be any reprieve in the days to come, which there won’t. I have 3 classes this coming semester. Constantly being squeezed of all the strength in my body and mind to continue doing what everyone else expects me to fulfill. I use this music to control my anger from breaking the walls in my room or cutting my own flesh again. I really don’t care anymore who will read this. I am suffering, hope that’s not too dramatic for you. Hope you understand and accept me for the reality of the situation. 

Goodnight 2018, year of shit.